Virginia Child Custody
Licensed in Virginia to practice Family Law

Child Custody after Divorce In Virginia

In the past, it was customary for the Virginia courts to award custody of young children (about 5 years old or younger) to the mother when couples divorced. This "tender years" doctrine has been almost entirely replaced - either rejected outright or relegated to the role of tie-breaker if two otherwise fit parents request custody of their pre-school children.

Virginia now takes into consideration the fitness of both parents - the mother no longer automatically enjoys a de-facto privilege when custody is being determined. Virginia laws now require the courts determine custody on the basis of what's in the children's best interests, without regard to the parent's gender.

Many divorcing parents do agree the mother will have child custody after a separation or divorce, with the father exercising reasonable visitation rights. If this happens because both parents agree the mother has more time, a greater inclination in parenting, or a better understanding of the children's daily needs - then all is well and good. But many times the father presumes the mother will automatically be awarded custody and never pursues the matter - or because the mother is more tenacious in seeking custody.

As a father, if you want to ask the Virginia court for physical custody, don't let gender stereotypes stop you. If both you and the mother work full-time, and the kids have after-school care, you may both be on equal footing. In fact, if you have more flexible hours than the mother, you could be at an advantage. In any event, the judge will look at what's best for the children in custody cases.

So if you as father think you are the better caregiver and should have primary custody - it's up to you to convince the judge that it's in the kids' best interests to stay with you. If you present yourself as a willing and able parent, it will go a long way towards challenging any lingering prejudice against you as a father.